What Is It We Are Seeking in The Meaning of Life?

Judy had just seated herself in one of the visitor’s chairs in my office. After the usual pleasantries, Judy asked question. “What does it mean when I seek the meaning in life?”

I then used the cliched therapist’s return question, “Judy, what do you think it means?”

“Well, I find that good things give my life a certain purpose. My husband and I set a goal of getting, say, a new couch. So we save for that item. Our kids get allowances so if they want something real special, they have to save for it. Sometimes we give half to their efforts. Sometimes they take on odd jobs around the neighborhood to earn the extra money needed. But once we acquire some thing, the goal has been fulfilled and meaning just runs out.”

I said, “No lasting meaning there, then?”

“Oh, it’s nice to have a new couch or whatever,” Judy said. “But the niceness stays in the object, but does not stay in me. It’s the same with my health. I have no problems to speak of, but even my health seems external to me. I mean, I exercise, watch my diet, avoid stress. You know. But that’s just for my body. I find it important but I do not see any meaning there.”

“So, physical things do not give lasting satisfaction?” I asked.

“No, and …” Judy hesitated, as if she just ran out of steam.

“I think you want to say more, but you are slightly afraid to. What is it you need to say?”

“Well, …okay. My husband I are still intimate quite regularly. I have also a nice circle of friends. We share feelings and sometimes secrets. But with all that closeness, I still sometimes feel empty. You know?”

“I think I am getting the picture,” I said. “There is more to life than intimacy.”

“Yes, and even in our coaching community, here, I feel very much a part of it but that only lasts hours after we go home. I find myself deep into spirituality when interacting in this gathering. But it doesn’t last. What’s wrong with me, Dr. Bob?”

“I don’t think there is anything wrong with you, Judy. As a matter of fact, I think you are quite normal. Only, you’ve been looking for the meaning of life in all the right but wrong places. I mean the things and events you mention are all good. They just don’t fulfill you like you want. Many, many people think they can find the meaning of their lives in good things, like a new sofa. Or they think they can meaning through good health, or intimacy, or community, or even in spirituality. Obviously good health and the others are great to have and participate in. But most people do not find the meaning of their lives in any of these.”

“What’s the idea, then?” Judy asked.

“Meaning in life starts from the inside out. You see, you have been looking for meaning from the outside in. Even spirituality if keep as an outside achievement, still remains outside. For example, you can be very good at meditation, but if you view meditation as something you achieve rather than experience, you have missed the point. The point of meditation is gain something internal. This where you have missed the meaning you are looking for. Everything you have is good. But you need that inner connection with The Soul Of The Universe.”

“But I try,” Judy said. She was almost in tears.

“I know you do, as I have observed you over the years. I still remember the first time you and your husband brought your newborns to be with us in community. You parents both beamed with joy on those occasions.”

“But still something is missing,”Judy insisted.

“Yes, Judy, you have simply missed your inward link to The Soul.”

“How do I get that connection?”

“In meditation you find The Source.”

“But I do meditate,” Judy said, with a red flush to her face. Frustration I imagined.

“You’ve not done anything wrong. Let’s just do a mediation here and now to help.”

We went through a centering. Then a calming of the mind. Then I had Judy, entirely in her own spirit, imagine a connection of golden light between her and The Universal Consciousness. I only expected to have Judy experience a near-to-The-Source-bond. Few people feel a strong link that first try. So I hope for a beginning where the person finds an actual nexus with The Divine. Just an opening.

The room grew very quiet as I got out of the way, so to speak, and let Judy have her experience without any outside distractions, including my words. After a time, I assured her that she could come back into the room when she was ready.

When she opened her eyes, I could see that something extraordinary had happened. Judy had the biggest smile on her face.

She said, “I felt it, I felt it. I felt The Soul. I have never felt it in that way before. Wow! That is meaning, … and happiness. Wow!”

Needless to say, Judy changed herself in that hour. She had found the true meaning of her life. When you connect with The Divine (whatever name you give it), as an internal reality, you have found the meaning of life, which is to be happy in a way that external, no matter how good, cannot give.

 Please buy my book:
Happier In Five Minutes
Also available in Kindle Version


Loose the Lock of Life

It may seem to you that your life is locked up. Nothing grows. Nothing changes toward the positive. Stuck in a rut are you.

There is a simple solution. First, see in your imagination that there is a padlock on your life. You are imprisoned behind this lock. Lack of happiness makes this steel bond upon your life. Struggle as mightily as you can you cannot get out from behind this fetter.

You are unhappy if you feel your life so incarcerated that you cannot move. How to get out of jail? Find and use happiness and you will loose the lock on your life.

I am not talking about the screaming for joy kind of elation that some folks give themselves when they have won the lottery. That is legitimate joy. I am not talking about the screaming in delight when your favorite sports team wins a really big game or match.

I am speaking about the quiet kind of every day feeling of well-being. A feeling that no matter what happens in your life you are all right. Simple to say and simple to get.

Here’s how. Make a direct connection with the Universe. Now, some folks will want to name this entity “God.” If that is your preference, fine. If that is not your preference, then perhaps you can call It the Universe. I often name It – The Source of All There Is. Or “Tathis” for short.

You see, in that connection is total, pure, unconditional acceptance of who you are. You cannot do or say or think anything that would alienate you from Tathis. When you feel yourself accepted, completely, just as you are, you know and possess well-being.

This is not screaming in delight or jumping for joy. This is quiet acceptance of who you are, knowing that you cannot do or say or think anything that will estrange you from the Universe.

This kind of happiness is the key that unlocks the latch that has been imprisoning you. This way you loose the lock of life.

That kind of happiness and freedom is obtained simply through meditation of some sort. I say “some sort” because there are many forms of meditation all of which are effective in helping you make the connection to Tathis and thereby find happiness for yourself.

In meditation you seek time alone with the Universe. In that alone time you will find, over time, your direct and eternal connection to Tathis. When you have found, examined, and made your own that golden light of total and unconditional acceptance, you will be happy – filled with well-being.

This connection usual takes some time. But when you feed into mediation on a regular and consistent basis, the connection will be made. Actually it will come almost automatically, no matter the form of meditation you use.

So, find a form of meditation that suits you best. You can scour the Internet or your local bricks and mortar bookstore. You may need to try a few different types of meditation until you find the one that is best for you. You may discover one that works for 10 or 12 months and then feel the need to shift to another. That is part of discovering what is optimal for you.

But practice meditation on an almost daily footing and you will soon find the happiness that unlocks your life. Begin today.

Comments and questions are most welcome.

If you wish to view the video of this blog please go to:


Please Buy My Book
You Deserve To …
Kindle Version

I Am Death – I Am Life

How many cells do you lose every day? Answer: about 300,000,000,000, that’s three hundred billion. So, in a manner of speaking, you are death. The flip side of this coin is that you are creating some 300,000,000,000 new cells each day. So, in a manner of speaking, you are life. So much so that every seven years you are almost a completely new person physiologically.

This is much deeper than physiology, however. Every time you develop a new habit, or drop an old habit, you have changed. Either something died or was born. Perhaps in the case of a new good habit replacing an old bad habit, something both died and was born at the same time.

Perhaps this is too obvious for you and you wonder what this has to do with you. You must realize that you are full of birthings and dyings. That you are either growing or decaying. The point is, which do you choose to align yourself with? Are you primarily life orprimarily death?

The attitude you choose will determine to a very large extend how you see the rest of your life. How you look at your life will very much determine how your life will be. Life and death are always present in your existence. You need to acknowledge that fact. But the attitude you feed will be the dominate attitude of your life.

If you provide more energy to death, that’s the kind of life you will have for yourself. When you supply life with energy on a conscious basis, you will be filled with life. Yes, I know, most never give this attitude thing a first thought, let alone a second thought. They just let living drift where it will in terms of life and death.

But you are not everyone – otherwise you would not be reading this blog. You want something more from life and living. You want the best for yourself. Therefore you seek ways and means of acquiring the best for yourself.

If a desert had will and consciousness, what do you suppose it would be doing with itself? From what it looks like, at least at superficial glance, it is a place of barrenness and death. A desert seems very inhospitable to most other forms of life, be they plant or animal. In other words, a desert seems to dwell on death as opposed to life. (I know that many deserts teem with life. A desert seems inhospitable when observed.)

On the other hand, a lush green valley seems to abound with life. There are trees and bushes and many other plants immediately visible. Hold still long enough and a green valley may show several forms of wild life. The observation of which is not hard to come by. By analogy, then, it seems that the valley favors life – promotes it even.

Thus it is with your life. Where do you funnel your life-energy? In life or in death? Yes, again, we all have life and death within and through us. The choice is always yours. What will you place your conscious energy into, life or death?

Your life will be barren if you believe and see your life as mostly death. Your life will flourish when you put your vigor into life. And, if it matters to you, you will be far ahead of the curve of the rest of the human species in that you are consciously cultivating life within yourself.

Thrive like you mean it.

If you would like to see the video of this blog post, please go to: http://youtu.be/LT805a7BNWo

Comments and questions are welcomed. Please use the “reply” section below. Or you can reach me at drbob4u@gmail.com

Paperback Version

Paperback Version

Happier In Five Minutes and for the Rest of Your Life