Happiness Is Being Loved Unconditionally

What you are actually and really looking for when looking for happiness is unconditional love. Think on it. When you have love, authentically and unquestionably, you are the happiest you can possibly be.

Unconditionally love means you are totally supported just as you are. You have nothing to prove. You have nothing to gain. No matter what you do or don’t do, think or don’t think, say or not say, be or not be, you are still loved in a supreme way – beyond description and almost beyond comprehension.

And that is why this idea and reality is so often missed by the vast majority of people. We all have difficulty describing it to another that it might be passed along easily. And when someone tries to pass it along even in its simplest form, it is almost beyond comprehension.

Not because it is difficult but because it is so simple and ineffable. The entire Universe is based upon the principle and actuality of unconditional love, yet 99% of humanity misses it.

And it is almost incomprehensible because it is so widely available, that when heard about, 99% of the human population cannot or will not believe it to be.

Further, understanding and accepting that you are unconditionally loved will not necessarily bring you things. Though it will not necessarily not bring you things, either. Unconditional love is neutral in regards to things.

Things, items, are external to the person, whereas unconditional love is totally internal to you. Everything external to yourself can and will pass away. Happiness can never pass away from you when you do not allow it to through the realization of unconditional love.

Even in trying to explain unconditional love and its ramifications to you in this blog causes me consternation so that I may not get caught up in the tangle of my own words.

Simply, once again, you are loved unconditionally and forever just as you are – right now. When you accept this idea and know it in your very being, you will be happy beyond even your own understanding.

So many, the huge majority of persons, believe that there has to be strings attached somewhere. They feel that they have to conform to something or someone in order to be loved in order to be happy. They feel they have to follow the rules, imposed from some outside source, or the loved will be withheld. Therefore, of course, then, there is no happiness.

Search then diligently within your own soul and mind and accept for yourself this thought of unconditional love. It is yours for the grasping of it. You can grasp a small “amount” of this unconditional love and as you become more and more confident and adept in your grasp of this reality, you can get hold of larger and larger “amounts” until you are filled with happiness, until your Universe is filled with happiness.


What Is It We Are Seeking in The Meaning of Life?

Judy had just seated herself in one of the visitor’s chairs in my office. After the usual pleasantries, Judy asked question. “What does it mean when I seek the meaning in life?”

I then used the cliched therapist’s return question, “Judy, what do you think it means?”

“Well, I find that good things give my life a certain purpose. My husband and I set a goal of getting, say, a new couch. So we save for that item. Our kids get allowances so if they want something real special, they have to save for it. Sometimes we give half to their efforts. Sometimes they take on odd jobs around the neighborhood to earn the extra money needed. But once we acquire some thing, the goal has been fulfilled and meaning just runs out.”

I said, “No lasting meaning there, then?”

“Oh, it’s nice to have a new couch or whatever,” Judy said. “But the niceness stays in the object, but does not stay in me. It’s the same with my health. I have no problems to speak of, but even my health seems external to me. I mean, I exercise, watch my diet, avoid stress. You know. But that’s just for my body. I find it important but I do not see any meaning there.”

“So, physical things do not give lasting satisfaction?” I asked.

“No, and …” Judy hesitated, as if she just ran out of steam.

“I think you want to say more, but you are slightly afraid to. What is it you need to say?”

“Well, …okay. My husband I are still intimate quite regularly. I have also a nice circle of friends. We share feelings and sometimes secrets. But with all that closeness, I still sometimes feel empty. You know?”

“I think I am getting the picture,” I said. “There is more to life than intimacy.”

“Yes, and even in our coaching community, here, I feel very much a part of it but that only lasts hours after we go home. I find myself deep into spirituality when interacting in this gathering. But it doesn’t last. What’s wrong with me, Dr. Bob?”

“I don’t think there is anything wrong with you, Judy. As a matter of fact, I think you are quite normal. Only, you’ve been looking for the meaning of life in all the right but wrong places. I mean the things and events you mention are all good. They just don’t fulfill you like you want. Many, many people think they can find the meaning of their lives in good things, like a new sofa. Or they think they can meaning through good health, or intimacy, or community, or even in spirituality. Obviously good health and the others are great to have and participate in. But most people do not find the meaning of their lives in any of these.”

“What’s the idea, then?” Judy asked.

“Meaning in life starts from the inside out. You see, you have been looking for meaning from the outside in. Even spirituality if keep as an outside achievement, still remains outside. For example, you can be very good at meditation, but if you view meditation as something you achieve rather than experience, you have missed the point. The point of meditation is gain something internal. This where you have missed the meaning you are looking for. Everything you have is good. But you need that inner connection with The Soul Of The Universe.”

“But I try,” Judy said. She was almost in tears.

“I know you do, as I have observed you over the years. I still remember the first time you and your husband brought your newborns to be with us in community. You parents both beamed with joy on those occasions.”

“But still something is missing,”Judy insisted.

“Yes, Judy, you have simply missed your inward link to The Soul.”

“How do I get that connection?”

“In meditation you find The Source.”

“But I do meditate,” Judy said, with a red flush to her face. Frustration I imagined.

“You’ve not done anything wrong. Let’s just do a mediation here and now to help.”

We went through a centering. Then a calming of the mind. Then I had Judy, entirely in her own spirit, imagine a connection of golden light between her and The Universal Consciousness. I only expected to have Judy experience a near-to-The-Source-bond. Few people feel a strong link that first try. So I hope for a beginning where the person finds an actual nexus with The Divine. Just an opening.

The room grew very quiet as I got out of the way, so to speak, and let Judy have her experience without any outside distractions, including my words. After a time, I assured her that she could come back into the room when she was ready.

When she opened her eyes, I could see that something extraordinary had happened. Judy had the biggest smile on her face.

She said, “I felt it, I felt it. I felt The Soul. I have never felt it in that way before. Wow! That is meaning, … and happiness. Wow!”

Needless to say, Judy changed herself in that hour. She had found the true meaning of her life. When you connect with The Divine (whatever name you give it), as an internal reality, you have found the meaning of life, which is to be happy in a way that external, no matter how good, cannot give.

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Happiness and the Whole Self – Love Everything

Let’s take beauty as an example and a starting place. The beauty of the teens and twenties may fade as it reaches into the fifties and sixties. I was amazed at the changes I observed in people who were beautiful back when we were in high school together. Now, at the fiftieth reunion of our graduating class, many had become unrecognizable.

Of course, that may well have included me. Some were still very handsome, but the majority of us, not so much after five decades.

If you were to identify with one single aspect of yourself, and that facet changed over the course of time such that you did not want to identify with it anymore, what then? Would you think less of yourself?

Unfortunately, that is the situation with many people. They pick out one or two aspects about their looks or personality and despise these. What happens when they do that? They are less than whole. They find some physical trait or personality characteristic that is less than they wish it to be. Therefore, they come to think, the entirety of me is unworthy.

But, you see, that need not be. Yes, there may be items about yourself that you would change or improve if you could. Perhaps we all have flaws. That does not, however, make you less of a individuation of The All There Is. There are very few things that are perfect in this universe.

For example, you would very seldom find a perfect sphere in nature. Even the rain drop as it falls from the cloud is not a perfect sphere. It is flattened on the top surface and flattened on its bottom surface. The top of a rain drop is flattened by the gravitational pull upon it. The bottom of a rain drop is flattened by the resistence that the air offers as the drop falls through space.

When examined closely, you would discover that a snow flake, as beautiful as it appears, with all its symmetry, is not without its flaws.

My point is – there is little that exists that is without blemish. Perfection is often sought, but never totally found. The same may be said about humans – every human.

If it is the case that we all have flaws, and it is true, then what are you looking for? A flawless you? Not going to be the case. So, why not love you the way you are? Not loving you the way you are is not going to change you. As matter of fact, those who study such things have determined that when you will not accept you as you are, you will have a more difficult time changing you.

Instead – love everything about you – imperfections and all. How do you do that? Simple. Find the One who truly accepts you. Look closely now for this may be a brand new concept for you. See how the Universe accepts you. The Universe does not pick out a blemish and say you are therefore unworthy of Its regard.

The Universe accepts you entirely as you are, whatever you have done or not done, said or not said, thought or not thought. There are no exceptions to this grand idea. You are accepted, totally unconditionally, just as you are right now. Whether you are in the bloom of youth or in the wrinkles of old age – you are accepted just as you are.

Yes, again, you may want to change. That’s fine and good. Sometimes even commendable. But not necessary to your acceptance. Now, then, if the Universe, The All There Is, welcomes you just as you are, who are you to say nay to yourself?

You are free to love yourself. It has been shown, again by those who study such things, that when you love yourself, all of yourself, you will have a far better chance of changing or improving that which you wish.

So, get to it. Love yourself. Accept yourself. All of you.

When you wish to view he video of this blog, please go to: http://youtu.be/iLVKv7Akdvc

Comments and questions are most welcome.

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