Arrival Addiction and Happiness

A long time ago, in a life far, far away, I thought if I could just get the right assignment, I would have it made. Happiness would abound. I got the next assignment and it looked good. A few months in the new assignment and it turned out to be the same, same old. No real, new, lasting happiness.

So, I began immediately to lobby for the next assignment. I had to have the fix of a new and better place to be and work. Over time and many assignments I discovered what I call “Arrival Addiction.” I was addicted to finding a new place at which to arrive. If I arrived at just the right place, all would be roses.

That did not work out as planned. So then I switched to money. I found myself addicted to arriving at a certain amount in my bank account. If I could just make a six figure income, I’d be happy. No matter how much money I made, I was not happy. I had to arrive, and quickly, at the next level of wealth – then I would be happy.

Now, please do not misunderstand: it is good to want and fulfill a good assignment job-wise.
Setting goals and achieving them is a positive occurrence. It is good to have as high an income as is possible as long as that income comes without stress or anxiety. Nothing wrong with good things per se.

But when these good things lead to arrival addiction, you have a problem.

One of the most important and significant arrivals might be to find the right life partner. If only I could land someone like “so-and-so,” I’d be so happy. Some folks, therefore, go from significant other to significant other trying to arrive at just the right one. Of course, many relationships go through this problem. Many, many marriages are ruined, soon or late, because of arrival addiction.

“If I could just get there ….”

The truth is that happiness is with you all the time. You have arrived. You just need to know where to look. You have arrived at happiness when you have made a lasting relationship with the Eternal. You get to define the Eternal as you see fit.

Wherever you go, there you are. (Yogi Berra) You need only to be still and allow the Eternal to be revealed within you. I guarantee that happiness is already within you. No further searching need be done. You simply open yourself to the Eternal that is within you right now.

You may have a challenge giving up your arrival addiction. The way you overcome that addiction is by substituting it with a new quest. That quest is to get closer and closer to the Eternal. To be more and more attached to the Eternal. Believe me, please, when I say that that arrival is right here, right now, in your own eternal spirit.


Happiness Is Being Loved Unconditionally

What you are actually and really looking for when looking for happiness is unconditional love. Think on it. When you have love, authentically and unquestionably, you are the happiest you can possibly be.

Unconditionally love means you are totally supported just as you are. You have nothing to prove. You have nothing to gain. No matter what you do or don’t do, think or don’t think, say or not say, be or not be, you are still loved in a supreme way – beyond description and almost beyond comprehension.

And that is why this idea and reality is so often missed by the vast majority of people. We all have difficulty describing it to another that it might be passed along easily. And when someone tries to pass it along even in its simplest form, it is almost beyond comprehension.

Not because it is difficult but because it is so simple and ineffable. The entire Universe is based upon the principle and actuality of unconditional love, yet 99% of humanity misses it.

And it is almost incomprehensible because it is so widely available, that when heard about, 99% of the human population cannot or will not believe it to be.

Further, understanding and accepting that you are unconditionally loved will not necessarily bring you things. Though it will not necessarily not bring you things, either. Unconditional love is neutral in regards to things.

Things, items, are external to the person, whereas unconditional love is totally internal to you. Everything external to yourself can and will pass away. Happiness can never pass away from you when you do not allow it to through the realization of unconditional love.

Even in trying to explain unconditional love and its ramifications to you in this blog causes me consternation so that I may not get caught up in the tangle of my own words.

Simply, once again, you are loved unconditionally and forever just as you are – right now. When you accept this idea and know it in your very being, you will be happy beyond even your own understanding.

So many, the huge majority of persons, believe that there has to be strings attached somewhere. They feel that they have to conform to something or someone in order to be loved in order to be happy. They feel they have to follow the rules, imposed from some outside source, or the loved will be withheld. Therefore, of course, then, there is no happiness.

Search then diligently within your own soul and mind and accept for yourself this thought of unconditional love. It is yours for the grasping of it. You can grasp a small “amount” of this unconditional love and as you become more and more confident and adept in your grasp of this reality, you can get hold of larger and larger “amounts” until you are filled with happiness, until your Universe is filled with happiness.

Where Happiness Is, There Will Happiness Come

When I was kid, I played in the brick surfaced, curbed streets in our neighborhood – Cleveland, Ohio. Traffic was light on that street so there was little danger. Furthermore each house had a tree-lawn between the sidewalk and the street. Staying on that tree-lawn while playing in the gutter was safer still.

I especially enjoyed the times after it had gently rained and there were river-lets of water running alongside the curb to the storm sewers. From sticks and other street-debris, I could construct little dams and have the water back up behind those mini-dams.

I could control the flow of water toward the storm drains. After six decades I still remember that fun.

There would be, of course, water on both sides of my dams, a greater amount piled up on the side from whence the water originated, a lesser amount on the drain side of the dam. I could increase the water flow toward the drains by opening the dam just a little be more. I could decrease the flow by making the dam bigger or stronger.

Happiness and the possession of it is something like the illustration of my childhood street dams. Happiness flows where it is already and the flow of that happiness can be increased or decreased with little effort on your part.

I could not have built my streets dams unless water was already flowing. Happiness is within your sight at this very moment. The “amount” of happiness you perceive that you have may seem small to you. Or it may seem huge, depending upon how you see your life. Seize that happiness within, no matter its size.

Happiness within will help you recognize that there is more happiness available. As if the dams of my childhood had consciousness and realized there was water on both sides.

How to increase your happiness? Simply by letting more happiness pour over or around the dam of your ego. By opening the water dam, or diverting the water around the dam, the amount of water on the down river side of the dam increases.

Your own ego is the dam in your life. Your ego says you already have enough happiness and you are not entitled to more. Or the ego says more happiness is not possible for you because of who you are.

You do not have to listen to your ego. You can find instead, within, that which is often named the soul. Your true soul, who you really are, can help you decrease the size of the dam that is holding back advanced happiness in your life.

The soul does this by recognizing that the ego is an invention made of many parts, not all of which are real or true.

Open your ego and let the happiness flow through to you in ever increasing volume.

This Has Been Dr. Robert Henry Schwenk, a.k.a. drobob4u. Comments are and question are welcomed.

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